Breaking of the Dam

Sometimes I just can't cope. I feel physically weak, all tingly down my arms, like you get just before you pass out. Only this has been going on for more than an hour. The nurse took my vitals which were all good except for a glucose level of 300+ and high blood pressure. Seems I'm ultra-stressed out. Completely overwhelmed. Don't want to cry, but can't stop. Jeff is supposed to drop by tonight after teaching his class to bring me some diet Dr. Pepper and give me a much-needed hug. I'm a mess, so I must pull myself together before he gets here. He's the one who needs comforting, not me.

The nurse gave me some medicine. I'm out of my anti-anxiety med, so I hope these help. Wouldn't want to have a heart attack or stroke from high blood pressure, after all. That would be very bad of me.

I apologize for this weepy, straggling mess of an entry. Time to distract myself with some Bones episodes and relax. I want to DO something, but that's impossible, so it's time to seek refuge somewhere other than my brain. And some place where my heart doesn't hurt. If only there really was a place like that in this lifetime.

Be well, my sweet friends. Be kind to yourselves and each other. I love you.

 Eventually, there will be respite. I just wish I didn't have to leave everyone behind to go to the place where I can find it.