Monday, June 2, 2014

Life. Don't talk to me about life.

I have scabies. If, like me, you have never heard of this before, especially not in regard to it invading your own personal body, here's the down-low:

Scabies consists of itty-bitty, teeny-tiny mites that burrow under your skin and lay eggs. And, oh god, does it itch! This causes the kind of itching that makes you want to run around like a hysterical cartoon character, howling and trying to dig them out of your skin.

I noticed some bumps on my scalp many weeks ago and had my doctor take a look at them. His response all those weeks ago was to wait and see. It didn't take long for the mites to find their way down to my forearm. It itched, I scratched, and now I have a bunch of angry-looking red spots on my arm.

How did I get scabies? I don't really know, since I have been up in my baby buggy (aka wheelchair that someone has to push me around in) exactly once since I first noticed something terribly wrong was happening on/in my scalp. So, since I have been in bed and only ever have two visitors -- and my therapist sits across the room from me -- I have to assume they either hitched a ride on someone who works here, or on my bed linens. Who knows?

Once my doc came back and it dawned on him what was happening, he said he'd prescribe a cream to apply from the neck down. I asked, "But what about my scalp?" He didn't answer. He just kept walking away. So I repeated, a little more loudly, "But what about my scalp? He just kept walking toward the door. So I said, with a lot more emphasis, "BUT WHAT ABOUT MY SCAAAAALP?" He reached the door and left.

So today the nurse walked in with the tube of cream he'd ordered. I told her it would be a waste of time and money to apply it without treating my scalp at the same time. At my request, she called the doc's office and requested a prescription for medicated shampoo. He answered, succinctly, that there was no shampoo to treat this. No suggestions, no ideas, just no. I searched far and wide on the net and, sure enough, he is right, except for some horse shampoo. I could use that, diluted with some regular shampoo, but decided this idea of covering every inch of my body with one small tube of cream, then leaving it on for 24 hours and showering it off the following day was a pretty stupid idea if I can't treat my scalp, too. So I asked them to call back and tell the doc I want the pill version of treatment. He hates prescribing any kind of medicine so chances are he'll refuse. 

If that happens, then I'll let them lather me with the cream he prescribed. I know they can't put it on my scalp because he ordered it to be applied from the neck down. But I can defy his orders. I'll just yank the tube away from the aide, put a globfull in my hand and massage my scalp with it, myself. I don't know what else I could do. But taking a couple of pills would be so much easier and more effective.

My life just gets more and more delightful as time goes on, doesn't it? Why, I'm a veritable ray of sunshine.

Hope your life is constantly on the upswing. And avoid scabies at all costs.