I got up in my baby-buggy "wheelchair" last week. It was OK for awhile. I had my mental health therapy session sitting up, which was a nice change, and it was a good session. He pointed out that I usually go into a depression after I've been sick, and I realized the truth in that. He said something about how, then, I had to start from the beginning again. But that didn't ring true to me. So I said, "No... Not really, because I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I've evolved since then."
He slowly nodded his head. "You're right," he agreed, "and I'm happy you recognize that."
When our session was over he wheeled me into the dining room, situated me at a table with some ladies where I could I could see most of the room and went on his way. I was enjoying listening to the hub-bub in the room and had struck up a conversation with a couple of the ladies. I was really enjoying myself.
Without warning, someone came up behind me, saying something about that being somebody's spot and started pulling me away. I had to scramble to get all my things off the table in order not to leave them behind, it was so fast. This person preemptorily moved me to an empty table near the wall and parked me there. My chair is built so that I'm unable to see behind me or to either side of me, so I could only see a small bit of the room. Lunch was served. I ate alone.
About 12:30 I saw one of the aides from my hall and told her I needed to go back to my room. She said that as soon as she could get the lift (there is only one in the entire building, and it keeps breaking down) they would do that. The next time I saw her, sometime in the next hour, she was coming out of the break room, presumably coming off her break. She crossed the opposite side of the room and didn't make eye contact with me.
Meanwhile, I noticed that my colostomy bag was about to burst. So a request had turned into an emergency situation. Eventually, a nurse, (in order to protect her identity, I'll just call her Nurse Bitch) wandered by and I waved her down. I explained the situation and asked her to tell the aides on my hall what was going on. Twenty or so minutes later, I waved her down again and asked her what they said.
She answered, "Oh, I don't know. They were busy putting somebody to bed."
So I said, "Well, you know, if this busts, everybody's going to be unhappy."
With a little smirk, she told me, "Well, I won't be unhappy because I won't have to deal with it!" And she walked off.
I was on the verge of a meltdown by then, So I got out my cellphone and called the front desk. I told the nurse who answered the whole story and we hung up. Next thing I knew she was paging the nursing home administrator. He found me, pushed me down the hall and parked me just outside my room, then headed to find the aides and tell them to get me taken care of.
It wasn't their fault. They were insanely busy and didn't know about my emergency because Nurse Bitch had never talked to them.
By the time The administrator got involved I was in full meltdown mode: crying, angry, swearing. You name it. And I told him that these kinds of situations were exactly the reasons I never wanted to get up in my chair.
I was finally put back to bed at 3 pm, 2-1/2 hours after I had been promised it would be in a few minutes.
This happens almost every time I get up. I can't move my chair 1/4 inch. Someone else has to move it. And when I first found out about it, I predicted that I would just be parked somewhere and forgotten. I'd say a good 90-95% of the time that's exactly what happens. It's not like I'm a person. I'm just a lump of meat sitting, forgotten, in some out of the way place.
I hate it. I'd just as soon stay in bed. It's more cheerful and more comfortable. And at least I can push a button to get help when I need it.
So don't ask me when I'll be getting up in my chair again. It may be quite awhile from now.
Thanks for plowing through this canticle of negativity. I appreciate your caring hearts. ❤️
