It's been nearly four years. At first I thought my life would be different, but enjoyable and that I would progress as time went by. But that's not what happened. I just got worse. The more time went by the worse my situation got. Today i feel like i'll never make any progress. To say I am discouraged would be like saying the Mississippi River is a gentle, burbling stream. I squeeze my will with all my might to proceed with courage and hold onto whatever shreds of hope I can find. It's literally a matter of life and death. I'm not talking about suicide. I'm saying that existence without courage or hope is like being utterly dead inside. I've been there and really don't want to ever go back again.
So I'm embroiled in an epic battle with myself. I'm so tired of traveling this road and losing and losing every time I turn around. It's just one battle after another, one wall after another. Is this what my life will continue to be like until I'm lucky enough to die? What a dreadful thought.
Today I am discouraged. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. I'll hang on to that tiny spark of hope that means I'm not entirely lost.
Hang in there, loved ones. The darkness hasn't won yet. ❤❤❤
It is the strength of choice, and not of muscle, that makes us mighty.
ReplyDeleteChoosing courage is a powerful move.
You are powerful.