Love is Patient, Love is Kind....

I talked to my best friend last night. I didn't talk about myself or my feelings because I knew I would recover after awhile. I'm a lot like Tigger. I tend to bounce back.

So I guided our conversation to reminicing about her mother, both good and bad, but mostly funny stories. Then I kept quiet and just let her talk. Hospice told her that her mother probably won't last out the week. She's conflicted when it comes to how she feels about it because her mother was good at feeding, clothing her, and she worked hard to keep a roof over their heads, but her mother never showed her any love or acceptance. And she was physically abusive. When my friend was in her teens, her mother would wake her up in the mornings by punching her in the stomach. Things like that.

 Yet, my friend took her mother into her own home and has taken care of her for at least five years. Her mother hadn't changed. There was no mellowing from her mom. The entire five years, my friend's mother has spewed out constant criticism and complaints. One time she held a knife to my friend's throat and threatened to kill her. The police and a social worker got involved and nothing was done, but her mom learned a lesson. After that, my friend locked her bedroom door every night so her mother couldn't come in and kill her while she slept. She wasn't being paranoid. Her mother had told her that's what she intended to do.

This is why I'm always telling my friend that she's an angel. She doesn't think she loves her mother, and she has little reason to, but I think she does, somewhere deep inside. I think her mother's decline is hitting her harder than she wants to admit.

So I can't be mad at her, and I don't want anyone else to be mad at her, either. We're still best friends and we love each other. So what if she slipped up? I forgive that. I also forgive myself for getting so wrapped up in my own struggles and not being a better friend to her.

I'm not much for organized religion, and I sure don't believe everything in the Bible comes straight from a deity, but the Bible does have some beautiful and wise passages. I was brought up in a loving, Christian home and can remember my mother reading to us from the Bible. She didn't just blindly quote it, though. She always had a point. One of my favorites was 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. I can almost hear her sweet voice teaching us what love is.

I love my best friend and I know that, to be a caring friend, I need to give her time to work though her troubles. Yeah, I have troubles, too. Who doesn't? But this has to be her time to lean on me, and I need to find a way to handle my problems without putting more pressure on her. I think she knows that she can lean on me anytime she needs to. That's what friends do.

Peace and love. ❤️ Many thanks for your caring. It means a lot.