Of This World

There's an old country song that mentions looking for love in all the wrong places. I never thought about it much. I thought it had something to do with honky-tonks and fast-living women. And that was probably its main message. But I wasn't much of a wild child back then. I had some adventures, but by that point in my life I was going to college full time, working, and raising a toddler by myself. I didn't have the energy to be wild.

But, of course, like everyone else, I really was looking for love. And during my lifetime I was lucky enough to find it. My concept of love, anyway. Now, I'm wondering if, like the song, I was looking in the wrong places. I was looking for love outside myself.

There's no way I can explain what I mean without sounding egotistical. I don't mean I think I'm the be-all of love. It's like there's this invisible, untouchable, inexplicable never-ending waterfall of something inside my soul that isn't just love. It's so much more than that, like a spark compared to a roaring fire. I know it's there. Once in a great while I manage to touch it, just a drop of it, and my entire being, my head, my body, my consciousness, my spirit, my soul is flooded with this feeling that is love and not-love. It's not of this world and yet it encompasses this world along with everything here and not-here.

And I know, not with my brain, but with my soul, that every one of us has this inside us.

In those nano-seconds that I manage to tap into it, it's like a brilliant light shines out of me that reaches into every nook and cranny in existence.

I'm such a novice. I hope I will learn how to experience this for longer periods of time. I'm selfish. I want more. I fly outside myself when I do this. I have no limits. Every place, every moment, every dimension, every thought, every bit of knowledge and understanding, every connection to every person and entity everywhere is available to me, and vice-versa.

And whatever gladness that I contain or have ever contained is spread across the universe and all its dimensions in a flash.

It's a lot like being a child again, twirling in circles just for fun and laughing, giggling, chortling for no reason at all.

But I am of this world, and that is not, so the twirling comes to a stop and I'm back in my bed, unable to walk, alone again.

Oh, but wasn't it glorious while it lasted? I must do that again, soon. And, somehow, I know in my heart, that I will.

Next time, come with me, won't you? ❤️