"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
Yeah, I fell apart at first. It really felt like a boulder fell out of nowhere that pulverized my plans. But it didn't pulverize ME. After I spent a day feeling lost and sorry for myself, I called Medicare and found out that I am eligible for wheelchair modification.
So I investigated what kinds of modifications are available. I found a company in Denmark that uses aeronautical technology. It's a seat that uses tiny neoprene pebbles that are vaccuumed into a seat. they mold to a person's body and can be used for people with spinal injuries. I'm not very good at explaining how it works, so here is its webpage:
There are a lot of questions about this product. How much does it cost? Would Medicare approve it and considerate it a wheelchair modification? Will it work for me? Is it even availabe in the U. S?. It's a long-shot with many hoops to jump through, so I'm not letting my hopes get too high. But it could work. Maybe. Anyway, I emailed them yesterday to get more information, so now I just wait. It's a new product, so I'm pretty sure no one here has heard of it.
The point is, I haven't given up. I'm not crushed. I'm not defeated. What I am, is determined. And, to be honest, I have no clue where all this strength is coming from.
And all this mysterious positivity and hope? It just seems to rise, unbidden, from the depths of my soul. It's as if I can trust that whatever happens, it will be the right thing.
That's where I am right now. There are, of course, ups and downs in this journey. And I'm sure to meet more obstacles. I might even have to choose another pathway. But now, instead of being weighed down by obstacles, I tend to see them as exciting challenges.
And I know I will often be defeated by them.. But my determination will not be. I'm no super hero. I'm likely to break down, temporarily -- give up, cry out of frustration and fear, get discouraged. But there's a light at the core of my existence that somehow stays alight and keeps me going. here is some wisdom and love from lynnie buttercup:
"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss yourn lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."
Much love from me to you.
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