Lessons Learned from Lyra

Today is Saturday. Guess what happened today? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. This is about how long my entry would be if I wrote about that. So, instead, I'm sharing one of my favorite columns with you. I hope you enjoy it.

Published January 27, 2007, in the Stillwater Newspress, Stillwater, Oklahoma

LESSONS LEARNED FROM LYRA

Kay Thompson, Editorialist

I have a 4-year-old. Lyra is, by birth, my granddaughter, but we adopted her when she was a baby, so I think of her as my daughter. I do my best to teach her, but recently have noticed I’m learning as much from her as she is from me.

We should congratulate ourselves more often. I sang her a little song and, when I finished, she yelled, “Yaaay! “ so I did, too. Then I noticed how good I felt about it. I’m not saying we should yell out loud when we do something we like, but a little internal cheering doesn’t seem amiss. She’ll also congratulate herself by yelling “I DID it!” when she’s done something she considers particularly hard. What would be the harm if we gave a little cheer to ourselves when we did something we considered an accomplishment?

We should be more polite. Lyra is always thanking me. It’s very pleasant to be thanked for doing something like blessing a sneeze, or getting a drink for her. I try to be as polite as she is, which makes the cogs of our particular interactions run smoothly. She even apologizes when she says no to me. “Sorry,” she’ll say gravely, “no go to bed.”

Sing even when you don’t know the song. I overheard Lyra singing a song along with the TV. She didn’t know the words and she didn’t know the tune, but that didn’t slow her down. She sang out loudly and clearly with great enjoyment. Why are we so afraid to enjoy ourselves? I hope she never loses that ability to sing out, unabashed and unafraid.

Say what you feel. When Lyra is mad, she’ll just say it: “I’m MAD!” I can then immediately talk to her about what’s wrong. I don’t have to guess. There’s no question that she’s mad about something. All I have to do is get to the bottom of the problem. We’d be so much better off, as adults, if we could just say, “I’m mad.” or “I’m hurt” instead of waiting for the other person to read our minds.

Take pleasure in small things. I was washing dishes, a chore I don’t really like to do, and Lyra was standing on a stool, watching me. Then she said, with clear pleasure, “Bubbles!” 

And sure enough, there were bubbles on my hands — tiny, iridescent and delightful. I had been so intent on getting my chore done, I hadn’t noticed the wonder that was right in front of my eyes. How much better off we’d be if we noticed the small, but delightful things that life presents to us.

I’m sure I have many more lessons in front of me and feel equally sure I have a good teacher in my daughter. In the meanwhile, I’ll determine to pay better attention. I’d better learn fast, before she becomes a teenager and I don’t know anything at all.

Lyra, age 4.  She was a mischievous imp sometimes.