Strange Journeys

I have an new abcess on my back. I had one, in the same spot, before. This happens, I believe, because I'm constantly lying on my back. It's not as bad as the one I had a few months ago, thank goodness. I'll spare you the gory details of having had that lanced with a scalpel, having liquid expressed from it manually, then having packing stuffed into it with only a squirt of topical anesthetic sprayed on it, a method which failed miserably at numbing the pain. I'll also spare you a graphic explanation of the high-decible inhuman-like screams of pain I emitted, nor of the gasping sobs and the feeling of suffocation they caused.

Someone, a nurse, I think, said that it didn't hurt that much, and that I was just being dramatic. That was not said in my presence, of course. If it had, I believe the jury would have found me innocent on grounds of justifiable homicide.

So this time I was just prescribed antibiotics. That may change if the Wound Care Doctor sees me Friday and decides it needs excising. I wouldn't mind so much if she does that. She's awfully good at numbing the area and she will promise to stop if I tell her to, if it's hurting me. She treats me with respect and understanding. I like her.

I wish I was better at communicating with my guardian spirits. I'd ask them for a few answers, like why the repeating abcesses on my back? I'm well aware of how dangerous a location that is to have an infection, and it's painful. And, of course, I'm always lying on my back, which makes it hurt. So what's the point? I need a little guidance here.

Being in pain has a way of dampening one's mood. I'm not afraid of it, but it really slows down my learning process, not to mention my enthusiasm for life. I know there are people who suffer with much worse chronic pain and I send them vibrations of healing, love, and joy. And peace. Much, much peace.

I feel a need to read, now, about things pertinent to my questions. Occasionally, answers will pop out of the blue, but most of the time I have to search for clues myself. When I find something useful, it's like I hear a tiny "bingo!" In the back of my mind, so I know I'm not totally alone in my quest.

What a strange journey I'm on, which we all are on, on our separate paths. If it's true that we choose our lives before we incarnate, I must have had an awful lot of lessons I wanted to learn. I think maybe I got a little overenthusiastic. Still, i am having fun now that I've begun being conscious of some of the lessons my soul is learning, and I can't wait to see what's coming next. If my body can't handle it, then my spirit will.

I'm so glad your paths and mine have met. Namaste. Happy traveling.